Parenting advice for teenage dating


03-Feb-2016 17:37

Jan 2008 My 15 year old daughter informed me yesterday that she's been texting an 18 year old boy she met at the bus stop. At the time, I talked with her about ''the dangers'' while also validating how good it felt to have someone notice you etc. So, now they're texting and she's grinning and blushing and feeling all special . ) On the other hand, my saying that will only encourage her as she is seriously rebelling these days.She had told me about him a month ago, telling me that this really cute guy kept approaching her to talk with her. I tried talking with her about it but she was angry that I was ruining her fantasy and finally said ''Fine! '' which I trust about as much as I trust George W. Any feedback from parents who have been through this? Sign me as: conflicted mother My daughter started seeing a 15 year old boy (on the water polo team)when she was 15 and I had her keep her door open when he came over and requested that his parents do the same. I always ask her to be home by dark, no matter what she's doing, out of not wanting her to walk around alone at night because it's not safe. I offered to give him a ride home but he didn't want one.One is easy-going but private, sharing information with me on strictly a “need-to-know” basis.I’ve had to modify my natural communication inclinations and evolve specific skills that work with her. (There's a chance that he's a friend of a friend of a friend! My mother-bear self wants to lay down the law and tell her no way in hell is she going to be dating an 18 year old who we know nothing about.A lot of parents who come are worried about their daughters and feel frustrated, ineffective, and “locked-out” of the relationship they hoped to have — one where they could consult, guide, love, and enjoy their teen daughter in this final stage of childhood.I also have two teen girls of my own and literally go from teen girls in my office to teen girls in my home in a five-minute commute.

”) and self-doubt (“I’m not good at anything.”) and/or over-confidence (“Well, I thought I could do that.”) and of course moodiness (“Leave me alone.”). It is a time to really begin defining ones self and realistically contemplating the future.I want to support her to start thinking through some of this for herself, but whereas she used to have very good judgment, these days she's running on low self esteem and hormones and I believe would follow anybody home who told her she had beautiful eyes. I talked to her about birth control and safe sex and she clearly was not ready. She went to his house once or twice, all when parents were home. When she has been out later with others I often pick her up (the joys of cell phones! I guess when there is another boyfriend I will want to meet him also.( And yes, we've been addressing the low esteem for years.)She has no experience with dating. I say I could get behind that better if he would stop commenting on her physical beauty and if she would stop gushing. When she saw him I kept my cell phone on and when they were alone for the first time and he was pressuring her for sex, she called me and I picked her up immediately. I think it's a matter of what you are comfortable with and what she wants too.There is no way around it; your teenager is going to want to date.

When he or she does, you’ll have to step up to the plate with some parenting skills.

Skill development is accelerated to prepare for college or job training programs. Social skills are honed and relationships take on more of a serious nature.



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